다시 한번 시작되는 my stage my stage that has started once again
뜨거원진 조명 아래 밀려오는 under the (stage) lights that has turned hot, the surge of…
feel  yo! My screaming
심장의 스며오는 나의 music my music that penetrates the heart
Let’s get it party tonight crazy
I gotta dance now
날 hot하게 만드는 bulah bulah melody 오오오 the bulah bulah melody that makes me feel hot all over oh oh oh
알 수 없는 이끌림에 beat it beat it crazily오오오 beat it beat it crazily into a pulling force so unknown oh oh oh
you made me feel shock
I must feel this
내 몸에 주문을 걸어본다 I tried putting a spell on my body
Let’s go
mission make it mission let’s go
mission make it make it go
I must go make it mission
let’s go mission make it go
I want U screaming
JYJ verse
움직이는 내손짓에 in the moving hand gestures of mine
내 호흡 빠져 빠져 봐 baby try falling into falling into my breathe baby
흔들리는 니 몸짓은 give up your body gestures that shakes give up
give up give up give up shaking
요동치는 내몸짓에 함성이 들려온다 listening to the shouts of the tossing body movements of mine
이제는 나의 stage it’s my stage now
What’s that baby what you baby
날 휘하게 만드는 쿵피탁 리든 오오오 the gong-pi-tak rhythm that gets me so immerse in 
알 수 없는 이끌림에a pulling force so unknown
beat it beat it crazily 오오오
you made me feel me shock
I must feel this
다시 한번 주문을 걸어본다 once again I try to put a spell
let’s go
mission make it mission let’s go
mission make it make it go
I must go make it mission
let’s go mission make it go
I want U scream
JYJ verse

(rap)
Probably you’re money is unpublic
try to save my life like a puppy and cream
another hot movie character bumble bee
treat me like a slave and I pray is it Halloween
trick or treats oh please don’t even
try to pull my head own you’re way
Brand new person a man?
So fuck off no more talk
날 hot하게 만드는 bulah bulah melody 오오오the bulah bulah melody that makes me feel hot all over oh oh oh
알 수 없는 이끌림에 a pulling force so unknown
beat it beat it crazily 오오오
you made me feel shock
I must feel this
다시 한번 주문을 걸어본다once again I try to put a spell
let’s go
mission make it mission let’s go
mission make it make it go
I must go make it mission
let’s go mission make it go
I want U screaming
JYJ one more time
mission make it mission let’s go
Mission make it make it go
I must go make it mission
Let’s go mission make it go
I want U screaming
JYJ dance time

바람이 분다 the wind is blowing
노을이지고 a glowing of the sky
운명이 우릴 the fated 2 of us
멀게만 해도even if it’s a distance away
시간 흐르고 the time passes
지나간 자리 길다 the spaces that passes by is long

사랑인가봐 it seems to be love
그리움인가봐 it seems to be longing
네 미소가 your smile
내 안에 물든다 has captivated me
꽃이 진 후에 after the flowers have fallen
우리는 다시 시작 we will start all over again

낙엽 위를 걸으면 if we walk on the fallen leaves
함께만 있자며 while we’re together
내마음 삼킨 그대 the lady who took my heart
영원을 약속할게 I promise eternally
눈이 부시게 shimmering to the eyes
아름다운 꿈에 in the beautiful dream
시련이 다가오나봐 seems like an ordeal has come

어둠이 가고 gone the darkness
새벽이 오면 come the morning
어느새 그기억에 머문다 remain in the memory unaware
오직 널 향한 always towards you
내마음 이슬에 맺힌다 my heart fills with tears

낙엽 위를 걸으면 if we walk on the fallen leaves
함께만 있자며 while we’re together
내마음 삼킨 그대 the lady who took my heart
영원을 약속할게 I promise eternally
눈이 부시게 shimmering to the eyes
아름다운 꿈에 in the beautiful dream
시련이 다가오나봐 seems like an ordeal has come

같은하늘아래서 under the same sky
같은꿈을꾸는 we dream of the same dream
빛의 별들의 향연 the brightness of the star’s lights’
그 축제에 내 몸을 실어 this occassion captivated me
언젠가 다시 부를 노래 a song that will be sang someday
그날이 찾아오겠지 that day will come for sure

사랑한다 말할게 i will say I love you
온몸을 다해서 with all my heart-felt feelings
옛순간의 떨림을 the fear of the past
영원히간직할게 i will cherish it eternally

현실에 가려 going towards the reality
널볼수없어도 even if I can’t see you

다시널 찾을테니까 I will come back for you

사랑인가봐 seems like it’s love
그리움인가봐 seems like it’s longing
네 미소가 your smile
내 안에 물든다 has captivated me

꽃이 진후에 우리는 after the flowers have fallen, we~
다시 시작 start over again
다시 시작 start over again
다시 시작 start over again

Oh~ Oh~~~~~~~~
난 너의 Pierrot 정말로 웃겨 Me, as your Pierrot, it’s really a joke
너에게 다 받쳐 찌들어 my mind getting it all from you, it dirty my mind
낸 눈 앞에 our bro 돈 앞엔 뭣도 없는 In front of me, my bro. in front of money, I’m nothing
완전한 넌 pro 제대로 p.s.m. you’re a perfect pro, truly a p.s.m.
아직 어린 내께 또 무슨 짖을 하게 또 What kind of doings will you do to the me who is still young
이 더러운 손 좀 치워 Take away your dirty hands
상대도 하지마 Don’t even try to confront
어제의 우리가 아냐 we’re no longer the us from yesterday
눈 감아도 보여 I still see it even if I close my eyes
난 이제 master I’m now the master
끝없이 파고 들어오는 건 no. no delving like there’s no end no. no
그 정도 화보 따위에 가두려하지마 Don’t try to measure it up with fortune or misfortune for this extend
세상을 잘 봐. 너무나 멋져 Look properly at the world. It’s so beautiful
no. just do not touch me
I’m not a pierrot
더 넓은 하늘을 등지고 살고 싶어 I want to live under a wider sky
자류를 알고 싶어 더 높이 fly fly I want to know the meaning of freedom. Fly fly much higher
나만의 새각이 있어 There’s only thoughts about myself
나만의 인생이 있어 There’s only my own life
감옥 같은 그 때 추억하기 싫어 I hate having to think about the days living in a prisoner cell
영원히 Bye bye bye Forever Bye bye bye
너만의 그 생각 집어쳐 throw away those thoughts only of u
너의 그 핑계 집어쳐 throw away those excuses of yours
죽도록 더 고통스러운 날들로 가득할 테니까
because it will only be filled with those days of misery and pain
no future no freedom It’s just like a chase for us but it doesn’t matter
now we’re just gonna walk out way for the rest of my life

너는 사랑이란 걸 아니?  do you know what’s call love?
아냐 사실 나도 모르겠어…no~ in fact I have no idea about it too…
단지 모르는 게 yeah Just something that I didn’t know yeah
가슴이 뜨겁고 막 뛰고 자꾸 눈물이 흘러 나 my heart feels hot and it keeps  beating and I keep tearing up
어떻게 해야하는 거니. what should I do?
찾아가 무릎 꿀으면 되니… Should I go pleading with bent knees?
나도 모르게 Unknowingly, I…
계속 너를 찾고 또 뛰고, 걷다 보면 또 제자리야 I keep finding you and running, I’m back to the original spot even when I keep walking
Do you not love me Do you not want to forget

새로 시작하려 해도 even if I want to start anew
쉽게 되지가 않는 우리 사랑 It doesn’t seems easy for our love
내 기억. 추억들~ My memories. sweet memories~
더 이상 감출 수조차 없는 내가 되었으니~ I have become someone who can no longer hide it
지난 날은 잊어~ forget the old days~
오직 서로만 지켜 가면 돼 We just need to have the 2 of us
이제 우린 알 수 있잖아. know we know it, don’t we
말하지 않아도 알잖아 we know it even if we don’t say it out
매일, 멀지 않던 어제만 소리 치면 되 tomorrow, we will shout out of the yesterday that isn’t too far
말하지 못해서 미안해 i’m sorry that I can’t say it
사랑한다 그대여 i love you my dear
몇 번이고 전화도 해봤어 maybe times i’ve tried calling
무슨 말을 할까 고민했어… I’ve been thinking about what to say…
나도 모르게 Yeah I don’t know it too Yeah
잠을 자고 일어날 때도 계속 너를 찾게 되는 거야 even as I fall asleep and wake up, I can’t stop myself from wanting to find you
날 봐 지금의 나를 봐look at me, look at the me now
너무나 변해버린 내 모습 좀 어색하지만 기다려 Although it feels awakward because I’ve changed so much, wait
너무 멀어지지 말자 내 앞에 세상과 약속할테니 let’s not be too far apart, I make a promise to the world ahead of me

사랑이 아니었음 좋겠어 I wished it wasn’t love

자꾸 다가오는 이별은 너무 아프잖아 A separation that keeps approaching is so hurtful

니가 행복할 수 있다면 그만 이제 그만 if only you could be happy, I can stop, I can stop right here

네게  해줄 수 있는 건 이것뿐 that’s the only thing that I can do for you

내 사랑 너만을 너만을 너만을 너를 위한 빈자리 my love, you’re the only (of my love), you’re the only (of my love), you’re the only (of my love), an empty space for you

눈치 채지 못하게 애써 외면하며 웃고 있는다 I am trying my best smiling facing another direction so that you wouldn’t be able to tell

니가 아프면 난 싫어 이벌은 싫어 I hate it when you’re hurt. I hate separation

날 사랑하면 안돼요 Do not love me

그대가 아니었음 좋겠어 I wished it wasn’t her

세상에서 가장 소중한 그대 그대이니까 the most precious woman in the world, because it’s her

그래서 널 밀치며 또 울이며 뿌리치며 that’s why I pushed you away and then cry again and reject you

네게 해줄 수 있는 건 이것뿐 that’s the only thing that I could do for you

내 사랑 너만을 너만을 너만을 너를 위한 빈자리my love, you’re the only (of my love), you’re the only (of my love), you’re the only (of my love), an empty space for you

눈치 채지 못하게 애써 외면하며 웃고 있는다I am smiling facing another direction so that you

니가 아프면 난 싫어 이벌은 싫어I hate it when you’re hurt. I hate separation

날 사랑하면 안돼요 Do not love me

기다리지마 쓰디쓴 눈물 또 겨우 참아내며 Don’t wait. And I could barely restrain the extremely bitter tears

난 뒤돌아서 가요 나 이렇게 I turned back and walk away. In this way, I…

새랑해 사랑해 사랑해 하나뿐인 내 사랑 I love you. I love you. I love you. My one and only love

가슴으론 외쳐도 너무 소중해서 부르진 못해 even if I scream out with all my might, because (you’re) too precious, I can’t call out to you

내가 아픈 건 괜찮아 사랑하니까 it’s alright even if I’m hurt because I love (you)

난 미치도록 울면 돼 I’ll be alright once I cry out with all my might

니가 아프면 난 싫어 사랑하니까 I hate it when you’re hurt because I love (you)

난 여기까지 하면 돼 I’ll just have to do my part until here

This is the OST song to the drama and I haven’t been able to watch the drama so I wasn’t able to link the song to the drama. But then again, my review would be fair since no scenes of the drama will come to mind. I guess the feel of the song would be different if I’ve watched the drama and listened to the song then reviewed it.

The song feels light on the first hear. It sounds like a song that could be listened on the beach with the feel of the wind blowing into your face. I tried not to listen to the lyrics because it’s a song about non-returned love. I can’t say that the song is made for Yuchun’s voice but he didn’t sound too bad singing the song or at least I can’t think of any better voices that could sing the song. The notes of the song actually matches his vocal range. The song actually gives people the courage to be good and fall in love with someone even if their love is not returned. It’s a light-hearted song yet not a sad love song. Or perhaps it was the mixing of the background music.

It’s not one of YuChun’s best song but yet it is a song that can be listened to many times and gradually fall in love with the melody of the song.

Early Wednesday morning, as soon as I reached the office, I received a call from my boss who’s in Europe. He says that there’s an urgent meeting for the board of directors and I was to fly over to attend it with a few other colleagues. The notice was short and I was to be booked on the next best available flight. I was given a flight that would leave that very afternoon at 3pm. There was no time because an hour later we were to have a short meeting and I’d need to head home and pack and leave. Time was very tight.

As per usual, the meeting took longer than we had all expected. I did an online check in and my colleague drove me home so I could manage my time better. I was grateful for that. It was about 12.45pm when I left the house and the airport is about an hour away. I was rushing against time. I decided to drive as my colleague said she could pick up my car at the car park. I reached and dropped my bags and head off to the lockers to drop my car key. And headed straight in.

The rest of the people were boarding so I thought I could use that time to give him a call. He didn’t pick up the first nor second call so I decided that I should leave a voice message.

“Oppa, I’m really sorry. I’m at Incheon Aiport now getting ready to fly off to Europe. I’ll be back only in another 2-3 weeks time. I’m not too sure yet. I’ll call again when I reach. Don’t worry. I love you. Bye.”

**************************************************************

It was still day when I touched down at Europe. We didn’t have time for any decent rest and I wasn’t the kind who would be able to sleep on the plane. As soon as we touched down, I switched on my phone, expecting something from him. It took a while for the network to get connected. But there was nothing from him. My phone was low in battery so I shut it off again and headed for the hotel. Someone had picked us up and will be sending us to the office once we drop our stuff.

I didn’t had the time to charge my phone. I changed into a new set of clothes and packed for what I thought would be required documents for the meeting.

**************************************************************

We reached the office slightly earlier than expected and it was just in time for lunch so everyone decided we could all head out for a meal and the start the meeting.

“Do you think you could help me with this? The battery died.”

“Why not.”

We went out and were back in less than 2 hours. I had switched on my phone while it charged.

There were quite a couple of text messages and voicemails. I didn’t bother to look at the contents but at the summary. It was sent throughout the long hours I was on board; from family, friends and from him. I thought he should be worried since I didn’t call so I decided to call instead. It took a long while for the call to get connected.

“You arrived safely? You said to call but you didn’t.”

“I’m sorry. My phone died on me. I didn’t had the time to charge.”

“ung… so where are you now?”

“in the office. Oppa, I’ll call again. I need to run.”

**************************************************************

Time check. It was 5am Korea Time when we ended. I was dead tired. But I decided I should drop him a text message as promised.

“Oppa, I know I said that this weekend is all yours but there was an urgent call for meeting. Are you sleeping?”

It took a while for the text reply to come in so I thought he was asleep. While I pack to head back to the hotel, his text came in.

“No, I’m not exactly sleeping.” There was some typo error and I know he’s half-awake.

“ung. Continue to sleep. I just finished and am about to head back to the hotel. I think I should be able to catch some sleep.”

“Got it. Have a good rest. Good night, baby.”

**************************************************************

Many days passed and we conversed through text messages all this while because of the time difference. I was scheduled to go back tomorrow and when I touch down in Korea, it would be a Monday morning. Through text message, I let him know of my flight details. I was half dead when I got off the plane because I didn’t manage to sleep a wink.

I grabbed my baggages and head out. As soon as I stepped out of the sliding door, out of the crowd, I saw a figure standing some distance away from me up front. I could barely open my eyes to see who that was. I continued to walk. I walked and passed that figure.

“Hello there…” I thought I heard a voice calling out to me. But then again I imagined it was my hallucination. I ignored and headed off.

“Ya..” I felt someone grabbed my hand from behind. The person was standing so close I nearly knocked into him.

“Yes?” I replied while I looked up. “When did you come? I didn’t see you.”

“Of course you didn’t! You sleepy head.”

“Sorry. You know how bad it is on the plane.”

“ung… ung.. ung…”

“Why are you like that? I’ve just come back from a tiring trip.” I defended myself.

“What did I say?”

“You…” I gave him that annoyed look and continue, “you never said anything.”

“See!”

I ignored him totally and tried to walk off. He pulled my hands off the trolley and took over my place. He stepped forward to walk. I stood at the same spot with my hands crossed over my chest and had a angry look on my face. He noticed that I wasn’t following so he turned back and shouted.

“Aren’t you coming?”

I ignored.

“There are a lot of people here.”

I took a glance around. But no one was staring or looking at us. So I ignored his statement again.

“You’re serious you’re not coming?”

I ignored once again. Frustrated, he left the trolley there and walked over to me, grabbed hold on my hands and pulled me along. At the carpark, he seated me first before putting the baggages at the boot. I fastened my seat belt while waiting for him. I wasn’t angry or anything but just plain tired. We didn’t speak the whole while and upon reaching my place, I stepped in and notice that Jiji is still around.

“Did you left him here all this while?”

“No, I just dropped him here again this morning.”

“ung? really? alright.” I turned around and put my hands around his shoulders. “I’m going to take a nap. You can make yourself at home which I think you did for the past 2 weeks that I wasn’t around.”

He didn’t say anything but smiled at me.

**************************************************************

I woke up at what smelled like bean paste soup. I always loved that soup he cooked. It tasted differently. The smell led me by the nose and brought me to the kitchen. No one was around. But the stove is still hot. I went on to open up the lid, took a spoon and dipped it into the soup so I could scoop up a spoonful and have a taste. He hugged me from behind.

“ah! What a sudden!”

“You’re awake?”

“ung. That’s nice.”

“You always like to do this to my soup.”

I giggled at that exclaimation. I didn’t realize it until he mentioned.

“soups are meant to be eaten.”

“Yes, madam.”

I tilted my head slightly so I could see his face.

“What?”

“Nothing, sleepyhead.”

“Is that a new nickname for me?”

“I like the look on your face after you’ve had a good sleep.”

“Is that a compliment?”

He broke into a laughter as he release me from his hug.

—-THE END—-

That week just passed like that. I still remember how it felt that night. I was upset at him being so nice and considerate; too much, overdosed. The image of him driving away from the lobby. The back image of his through the rear window of his car. No matter how buried I am in my work, that night continued to hunt me for the week. I had the Sunday alone, worming up myself under the blanklet. Jiji ignored me for the first time. Maybe he knew what happened between Jae and me. That bothers me.

Monday. Monday blues. I sat at my work desk feeling that I just came back from a war, like I haven’t rested at all the previous day. I sat there and the clock hitted 9am. I had a meeting scheduled at 10am. I had no mood for any work today. So bad, I wished I could call in sick. So bad,  I had guilt washed over me for what I’ve said to him that night. I stared at my phone left on the left side of my desk. It didn’t vibrate. I checked to ensure that it had signal. There was nothing wrong with the phone. No phone calls. No text messages. Sunken, I made myself a cup of coffee and settled back at my desk. 9.15am, I checked the phone again; nothing still. I ignored whatever I was feeling and took a sip at my coffee and started flipping my notes for the meeting. Nothing went into my head obvious. I couldn’t concentrate. I opened up my inbox and there was a flood of new messages. I started reading through and clearing them up one by one. I saw an advertisement on Maldives resorts. We had said before that we should visit while it is still around. I let out a sigh as I hit the delete key.

“What’s wrong? You look bad.” A colleague who had walked passed asked.

“ung? Nothing much.” I smiled, signaling that she shouldn’t probe more.

9.55am, I gave my phone a last check. Nothing still. It laid there like it’s dead. Getting ready, I picked up all my documents, laptop, notepads and pens and head off to the board room. The meeting went on for longer than expected. I wasn’t keeping track of time. I didn’t want to stare at the time only to realize that the day has still not passed and time is not ticking away.

12.35pm, I came out of the meeting room, saw the clock as I strolled down the corridor to my seat. First thing I remember I did as soon as I sat on my desk was to check the phone. It was dead. It was still dead. I picked up my wallet and phone and head out. I needed a walk. A walk to cool my head. A walk that can allow my thoughts to settle somewhere else. I walked along the riverside for the last 30 minutes only to settle down on a bench. I stared at the clear waters ahead and wished my mind is like how peaceful the currents of the water are. Angry at myself, I headed back to the office. That night, I knocked off late on purpose and alighted a station earlier so I could take a walk. Thinking back, I must be insane, walking on a hot summer night when I hated the heat. There were many times when the headlights of cars shone so brightly behind me, I would and take a look, wishing that it was him.

That day, I didn’t had a single meal. That day, he didn’t call or sent any text messages.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Tuesday morning, my alarm clock rang for so long so loud and I couldn’t hear it. I forced myself up and my head felt heavy. I ignored it thinking the possibility since I had a bad night. I headed off to bath and prepare for work. Again, I had no appetite for breakfast. There was no scheduled meeting that day and I felt relieved. I wasn’t in the state to attend any meetings at all. I made my work to work, dragging my feet and feeling heavy. Couple of hours passed and it was almost time for lunch. My colleagues came round my table and suggested we lunch at a Japanese restaurant near-by. The name of that restaurant reminded me of the lunch that Jae had brought me a week before. I could almost cry out at the very spot but I didn’t. My head was too heavy.

“Hey woman. Are you alright? You look so sick.”

“Sick? No, I think I’m fine. I just feel that my head is slightly heavy. And…” Because I can finish my sentence, I felt her palm on my forehead.

“My dear girl, do you realize that you’re having a fever?

“Really? Maybe I am.”

“I think you better go to the doctor or something. And go back earlier and have a rest. There’s no schedule meeting today or tomorrow.”

“ung…”

Heeding the advice of my colleague, I went to the doctor’s and was give 2 days of sick leave. I took a taxi home and was too frail to greet Jiji when I reached home. I fed him his food, ate somethings, popped my medicine into my mouth and headed for the bed. It was dark when I woke again. Still, there was no calls from him. 3 days in a row, for the first time. I made myself some simple dinner and went to sleep again right after eating.

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I woke up to realize that it was 8am in the morning. I moved my hand to the small table on the left side of my bed and took my phone. Refusing to open my eyes, I pressed the phone so it’d light up. “2 new missed calls” it read. I unlocked my phone and it read, Caller Woori Jagi” I was about to hit the redial button and a new call came in. It was him. I cleared my throat and picked up the call.

“Hello.” I broke my voice and I knew I failed.

“What’s wrong with your voice?”

“ung? No, it’s just morning and…”

“Aren’t you going to work?”

“Work?”

“ung… You’re going to be late if you stil don’t come down.”

I moved the phone in front of me so I could check the time. It reads 8.25am.

“ung… work… I’m not going to work today.”

“Not going? Why? Are you sick?”

“ung? No, I just wanted to rest and…” Before I could finish what I wanted to say, I heard someone at the door. “Oppa, hold on a moment.”

I walked towards the door and it flew open right in front of my face and he was standing right in front of me.

“Oppa?”

“What happened to you? You look pale, you know.” He sounded worried. I feel him bending down and putting both of his hands on my shoulder and moving his right hand to touch my forehead. “You’re having fever. How long has it been?”

“I went to the doctor yesterday. And he said I was too stressed and I didn’t have enough rest. I am to go back if I still don’t recover by today.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I couldn’t answer that question. There was no way to answer it nor avoid it. And I refused to look at him. Seeing that, he turned me around and pushed me from behind to my bedroom and tugged me under the blanket.

“Our princess, have a rest here.”

“But I just woke up.” I protested.

“Don’t you dare argue.” He said, trying to sound angry. I obeyed.

It didn’t make sense to fall asleep right after I just woke up like some 15 minutes ago. But I did fall asleep. It was the medication. I awoke at the sound of the TV. And I slipped on my indoor slippers that he had neatly placed beside my bed. Perhaps he heard the sound of my footsteps, he turned around as I approached.

“You’re awake? Are you any better?” He stood up and placed his palm against my forehead. “Seems like the fever has gone down slightly.”

Pointing at the bowl of ice beside my bed, I asked “You put ice on my forehead?”

“I did. It worked and reduced your body temperature.”

“Thanks.”

He ushered me to seat at the couch while he stood up. Jiji was sitting at the couch right beside him and I settled down over his left side. Jae went to the kitchen to scoop up what smelled like fish porridge. I stared up at the clock only to realized I had slept for 3 hours. I make my way to the kitchen. Looking at his back, I had the urge to hug him from behind.

“Oppa, I’m sorry. That night, I didn’t mean to…”

“shhh….. I know…”

Satisfied, I moved away from him as he turned around with 2 bowls of porridge. 1 was half filled and the other was filled to the brim. He settled the bowl that was filled  to the brim in front of me and put the other bowl opposite me while he settled down. Without him saying, I know that he expected me to finish the porridge. I obeyed, but not without saying nothing.

“If I ever grow fat, it’s all your fault!”

“You? fat?” he smirked. “If you ever do, you’ll still be able to get married. Because a man by the name of Kim Jae Joong would still want to marry you.”

I smiled, feeling the satisafaction.

—-THE END—-

It is not always a bad thing to leave your phone in silent mode 24/7. It is rather a bad thing sometimes that it keeps vibrating non-stop. For some reasons, I have meetings back to back this very day and only had a short 1-hour lunch break for me to breathe. The higher-ups from the US and other Asian countries have come for an important annual meeting and I was to be part of the meeting. I think my brain is going to rot for the next 3 days that the meeting will run. It’s a sunday night and I was thinking of resting early.

[…] […] […]

That’s the sound of my phone’s vibration.

“Now who is it this time at 8pm of the day.” I thought to myself. I was lying lazily on the floor because it was so hot into the summer that I can’t stand moving an inch. I slowly crawled my way to the coach where I remembered I last threw my phone at.

“Woori Jagi” It reads; which means “our baby”. At the top, it wrote, “Missed Call”.

“So, that was a call. No wonder it vibrated for quite some time.” I speak to myself and stared up at Jiji who’s sitting in a small corner because of the heat.

“You’re hot too right?” I shouted out to Jiji. “Your owner just called.” He just stared at me not having a single reaction.

I tapped on the redial button and the phone starts dialing. He picked it up at the first ring.

“baby, where are you? at home? It’s extremely hot today, right? Have you had dinner? I’m actually thinking of going for a drive. You want to join me?”

“Am I supposed to answer all that questions?” How impatient, I thought.

“ah… I’m sorry. Shall I pick you up?”

“Sorry, oppa. I don’t feel like moving an inch.”

“Ahh…” “Shall I drop by then?”

‘Oppa, I have 3 days of full days meeting from tomorrow and after that I’d have loads to clear. The whole of next week will be busy. I’m thinking of resting early tonight.”

“I know. I have 2 months of holiday before I start my new assignment so I want to see more of you. I’ll drop by in a while. See you!”

With that, he hung up before I can continue. I stared at Jiji and he remained at his original position seemingly knowing what I had intented to say. I threw the phone back onto the couch and kept my position. I’m very lazy tonight.

**************************************************************

*Ding Dong*
The door bell rang and I was getting ready to get up when I heard the sounds of someone pressing the password. “It’s him.” I thought to myself and simply refused to move an inch still. Jiji started to stand up and walk towards me.

The door opened and shut and the self-auto-lock sound of the door rang into my ears.

“Aigoo. What happened to my baby? Why is she lying listlessly on the floor?” He noitced Jiji in his standing position and Jiji was staring at the direction of the door. “Did you get up to welcome me, your owner, to this house? How nice, Jiji. Did you miss me?” He started off with Jiji and he took off his shoes and put on my indoor sandles.

“Oppa, you’ve come?”

“You’re so tired?”

“ung T.T I don’t feel like moving an inch. Like it’d cost me all my strength.”

“Still, you shouldn’t lie on the floor like that. You’d catch a cold. Sleep on the couch if you want.”

“It’s too hot.”

He walked over to the aircon remote controler and pressed the “Switch On” button.

“You didn’t even switch on the aircon that’s why you’re complaining it’s hot. But it should be fine since the wind is blowing and you left all your windows open. Why is it you’re so hot?”

“I have no idea.” I gave him that please-leave-me-alone tone.

He walked over and carry me up on the sofa. I sat upright. He placed both his palms on either sides of my face and went, “Finally you’re getting up? ung, our baby…” and “I bought your favourite food from the roadside store. The ahjumma gave me more. I think she knows who I am.” I looked over him to see what he has bought. “hmm… 1 person’s share of ddeokbeokki, sundae and fried food.” He bought that much for the 2 of us was the first thought that came to my mind.

“Oppa, you bought 1 person’s share for each of those items?”

“ung…”

“sundae does looks like it’s more than usual.”

“I asked the ahjumma to give me more. You love it, don’t you. And the internal organs as well.”

“ung…but it looks like a lot for the both of us…”

“i’ll finish everything.” I stared at him for his exlaimation and took his word for it.

I was preparing to stand up when he said, “Just sit where you are. I’ll get the utensils and plates.” I started to unwrap the food. It’s the kind of thicker rice cakes that I love with fish cakes. He seemed to have requested for more sauce knowing that I love to dip those fried food into the spicy sauce and eat it. I took 2 huge cushions and put it on either sides of the long table. He brought the bowls and emptied the food. I started eating before he’s done with it.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” … “I heard it’s nice there so I drove and went there to buy it.”

“ung…” My mouth was too full to answer much. “How am I to sleep on a full stomach?”

“So, you’ll be busy for the rest of the week?”

“ung…”

“Even the weekends?”

“ung.. I’m meeting Ju on saturday. And on Sunday, there’s birthday bash to go to.”

“hmm…” He sounds slightly sad.

“Sorry, oppa. I know you’re on a long vacation. Maybe you can take the weekends and meet up with your friends? I’ll be free the weekends after that. You can have that weekend.”

His face lit up slightly at my exclaimation. At times like this, he looked like a 3-year old. We ate and chatted a little here and there about random stuff. Like that, 3 hours just passed. He offered to wash the dishes upon seeing me stood up. And he switched on the TV for me.

“Watch the TV. I’ll wash and be back.”

“Ok…”

**************************************************************

I don’t know how I end up sleeping on the bed when I awoke. But heck with that because I am late for the meeting. I remembered that I had set the alarm clock to be 30 minutes earlier so I will reach the office earlier and now I won’t even be early. At that though, I rushed my way through washing up and preparing. I stepped out of the lobby and started walking towards the train station in a faster speed than usual. I couldn’t help looking at my watch and was reminded that I won’t be early at my desk today. I heard someone calling out to me from behind. I turned and looked.

“Get on.”

It was him.

“I wanted to fetch you to work and so I purposedly adjusted your alarm clock.” He started off as soon as I board the car as if it was written all over my face that I demanded an explaination.

“So I thought I had set the wrong time which seems impossible.”

“Sorry. I wanted to tell you last night. You remembered how you get to sleep?”

“Not… exactly… But I think you put me on bed?”

“Nevermind if you don’t.” He giggled.

I saw it and wasn’t too please that he’s not sharing. However, many other things were weighing on my mind so I didn’t have that extra mind space to pursue about the issue. I was early at work.

“What time is your lunch?” He asked as I exited the car.

“Why?” I didn’t wait for him to answer before I said, “1pm.” And I didn’t wait for him to answer and said, “I’m going off. Bye.”

“Do a good job.” I can hear him from behind me and I waved without turning back.

***************************************************************

I was a tedious start of the day for that 4 hours of meeting. I wasn’t ready to join any of my colleagues for lunch lest they discuss about work over lunch. I gave the excuse that I had an appointment but actually I didn’t. At 1pm sharp, my phone started to ring. It’s him. I glady take the call signaling to my colleagues that my appointment is calling.

“Hello. Oppa, why did you call?”

“can you come down now?”

“did you say now?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Just come down.”

“Ok, I get it. Give me a moment.”

“Ok.”

I dropped everything on my desk, took my wallet and mobile phone and headed down to the lobby. I look around the lobby and for his presence and someone sitting outside with his back facing the inside caught my attention. I walked towards that person.

“Oppa, why are you still here?”

“Still here? No, I went home and clean up and came again. Jaa, your lunch.”

“Sushi?”

“ung..”

“You came because of this?”

“ung… I wanted to make sure that you eat. You seemed to have lost weight.”

“I was stresed out because of this meeting.”

He moved over and massage my shoulders for me.

“What will I become without you?” He smiled at my exclaimation seemingly very satisfied.

I finished up the 20-piece with him eating 5 pieces and went to buy coffee for the both of us. We actually moved up to the roof top because he claimed he wanted to be under the sun. Much as I wanted to, I didn’t have the time to stay for a long chat.

“Oppa, I’m so sorry but what can be done? I need to sort out some issues before the next meeting.”

“ung, okay. I’ll walk you down. I should leave before people sees me.”

We headed for the lift and I alighted at the 20th floor while he took it all the way down to B2.

“You’re not going to be late today, are you?” A text message from him came as soon as I start to seat in for the next meeting. I didn’t had the time to reply.

**************************************************************

“ung? What is this?” I said out loud as soon as I stepped into my house.
“Jiji, you’re still here? Hyung didn’t bring you home?” Jiji showed the look like he couldn’t care less. “Does that mean you prefer to stay here?”

He came out of the kitchen wearing my apron and a soup scoop.

“Oppa?” I gave him the why-are-you-here-look.

“How is it? Superstar Kim Jae Joong is cooking specially for you.”

“I’m tired.”

“Yes you look very tired. Go get a shower and dinner will be ready.” He’s all smiles. He’s enjoying all these. He’s making me feel bad that I didn’t have time for him. I threw my bag and the documents I had brought home to read on the couch and head off for shower. When I stepped back into the hall, my bag was sitting nicely on the couch and the documents were sorted out and placed neatly on the table.

“You packed these?” I asked, pointing at the documents.

“Ung.. you brought those to read at home?”

I didn’t bother to reply.

“You’ve had a hard day’s work. You need some rest.”

“I’ve read some parts of these documents and put it that way. I need to finish reading them all before the 3rd day meeting.” I sounded slightly frustrated.

He ignored the fact and came over to pull me to the table. Jiji had shifted himself and settled down beside my pile of documents but seeing that we’re moving to the dinning table, he followed suit. I allowed him to seat on my lap.

“Jiji, noona is going to have dinner. How is she to have with you on her lap?” Jiji ignored him. I smiled at Jiji and ignore JaeJoong as I tugged in.

“Eat more.” He said as he stood up.

“Oppa, you’re not eating?”

“I’m going to get some water from the fridge.”

I nodded and carried on eating. I tried not to rush myself through dinner. He washed up the plates and cut fruits while I settled myself in my study room and read my documents on my bean bag. I had bought 2; red for him and dark pink for myself. He settled down with the fruits. And started forcing me to eat while I carried on reading. He laid quiet for the next hour or so. I looked up from my papers and realized it’s already midnight. He was fast asleep. I leaned closer and look at his face. He’s so perfect I’m jealous. He woke.

“Oppa, it’s late. You should head home and rest. You look so tired.”

“Why time is it?” He asked as he rubbed his eyes.

I started packing my bag for tomorrow while he headed for the toilet. I heard him shout, “I’m leaving. Locking the door for you behind me. Rest well!”

**************************************************************

Again! I woke up at later than I expected. I had snoozed the alarm and slept longer. I rushed my way through preparing and even skipped breakfast. Walking down the lobby, I saw him leaning against his car.

“Morning, agasshi.”

I smiled at his exclaimation and hopped on.

“Oppa, i’m late.”

“I know. You sleepy head.”

“Aren’t you tired?” He asked as he hopped on the driver’s seat and turned to the back seat and fetched me what smelled like coffee.

“Breakfast!” He said delighted. I gave him the how-did-you-know-I-didn’t-had-breakfast look. And he continued, “I’m a perfect boyfriend, aren’t I?”

I ignored. I finished my breakfast just in time as he reached my office.

*************************************************************

For the whole of the remaining weekdays to come for that week, he fetched me to work, brought me different set of lunches everyday, made dinner, cleaned my house, bathed Jiji and more. He seemed to have decided that Jiji is to stay at my house permantely. He may seemed like a perfect boyfriend, but I think it’s overloading for me. I thought it would stop after Friday. But, on Saturday night, at my date with Ju, I got a text message.

“Baby, it’s coming midnight and you’re still not home yet?” I showed Ju Jae’s message and all she said was, “He’s at your place, isn’t he?” I nodded. I didn’t have to ask to know. And Ju added, “My dear friend, many people would have wanted this kind of boyfriend but as of what I know you to be…” I nodded at that as well.

He called.

“ung oppa.”

“you’re still outside?”

“ung… with Ju.”

“Where are you ladies?”

“We’re going to head off soon.” I said as I looked at Ju and she gave me the we-should-really-be-going look.

“Where are you?”

“We’re at ….” I let him know of the location we’re at. “We’re going off soon. I’ll give you a call as soon as I get home. Don’t worry, I’ll take a cab.” With that, I ended the call.

15 minutes later, Ju notice a familar looking car outside the cafe and signaled to me. “Is that your husband’s car?” I turned back and realized that it really is his car. I took in a deep breathe and we headed out together.

Ju and Jae said hello to each other and Jae decided that we should fetch Ju back before heading home. On the way, we were all quiet. As soon as Ju alighted, I turned to him.

“Oppa, I know you’re being nice doing all these for me. But it’s a night out with Ju.”

“I know. But it’s already so late. I’m worried.”

“I know you’re worried. But I can make it home myself. I’m not a kid.”

“I’m not saying you’re a kid. I’m just worried.”

“It’s the same at work. I like it when you fetch me and stuff but doing it everyday. It’s just…”

We fall silent after that.

I know a lot of people would love a boyfriend like JaeJoong. I do too. But he’s a little too extreme sometimes.

I couldn’t sleep that night.

—-THE END—-

It’s their last stop for their World Tour in the US. The last time round when they had their US tour, I remember telling one of the unnie I know that I’d make sure I go. But it’s crazy because of the 16 hours long flight. I manageed to get myself an air ticket and a VIP ticket to their concert. I was glad I did manage because it was really chaotic. Many people have come to know about them because of their great performance abilities and vocals. They are moving from idol singers to professional singers. I am proud of my man.

11 hours more and I’ll be sitting on the plane.
32 hours more and I’ll be seeing him.
I’m so excited I can barely focus.

Time is passing so slowly and I can hear myself cursing under my breathe.

**************************************************************

[—- 10 hours later—-] [—-airport—-]

“I’m sorry, madam. It seems that there’s some issue with your ticket. Do you have any other identification. It seems I can’t find your ticket with your passport details.”

“What?! You’re kidding me. I haven’t got anything with me.”

“Let me try again…”

Panic, I searched franticaly through my bag but there’s no print-outs of the confirmation nor did I write anything in my notebook. “Darn!” I sweared.
Then I got a call from Ju…

“Woman, are you at the airport?”

“Yes, I’m trying to check-in and they say they can’t find my reservation. I remembered I paid by credit card. How is that possible? They are asking for some kind of identification. Where can I find it now?” I sighed and spoke like a bullet train.

“Calm down. Did you get a confirmation email?”

“Right! Confirmation email! I’ll call you back, thanks dear!”

I hung up the phone and logged on to my email account. I searched through the dozen of junk emails and found a subject titled “Asiana Airlines, your e-ticket confirmation.” I clicked in and it took so long to load. But luckily the confirmation number is stated on the file name.

“Excuse me, I think I have my confirmation number. It’s AXJ3278Q. Please check it.”

“Yes. Please give me a moment.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me by telling me you can’t find my reservation.” I said under my breathe.

“Madam, I found the reservation. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Let me check you in immediately.”

“I think I’ve done that and the seat is 10A. It just need my boarding pass.”

“Yes. Let me get that for you.”

2 minutes and I’ve checked my baggage and got my boarding pass. It reads “seat number 10A” on the boarding pass. I giggled at the number. It was the same flight and the same seat that he had sat on, departuring from Incheon. I am like a silly fangirl.

But the point is, he didn’t know that I am going. It was meant to be a pleasant surprise.

**************************************************************

[—-on the plane—-]

“Excuse me, how many hours more before we land?”

“It will be another 2 hours more. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

**************************************************************

[—-1 hour 30 minutes later—-]

“Dear passengers, this is the captain speaking…”

“Great! We’re landing soon.” I thought excitedly in my head. I was blasting his solo song “Still in Love’ for the last 16 hours and it makes me wonder what was on his mind when he recorded the song. Maybe I will get to ask him next time. His voice keeps ringing in my head even after I’ve landed, checked out at the customs, fetched my baggage, in a taxi on the way to the hotel…

“…it’s so true i’m nothing but a fool for you. But I don’t care, I’ll always be here loving you with all I’ve got. I don’t care if you love me or not…”

I checked into the hotel, the same hotel that they are staying and realized I still have time for a hot bath before heading off to the concert venue. I actually get to know which hotel they are staying through online research that has been updated and spread around by the fans. I managed to get a room because it’s a more expensive room. I was complaining to Ju about it but was totally ignored.

“Are you going to go to see him, or not?” Was all that she said to shut me off. She has always been cool. That’s why I love her.

**************************************************************

[—- Concert Venue—-]

I heard music and singing at the stadium and fans screaming and cheering each time they play the music. I head a familar voice saying “Let’s start this all over again.” I paced myself to walk towards the back stage door so I don’t look suspicious. I want to try and see if I can enter. No one know I was coming.

I was leaning against the door hearing for voices within when I heard someone approaching the door and turning the door knob. I was frozen at that spot. The door slid opened and I saw the man standing. It was their manager and Junsu was behind him.

“Hyung,…” Junsu started.

Stunned at me, he continued. “Oh! You… Hyung!” He screamed to a direction behind him.

Freaked out, I stepped forward and pulled him. “He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“He doesn’t? You didn’t tell him? Why not? Let me get him for you.”

“No, no, no. I don’t want him to know yet. Are you guys rehearsing?”

“We’re done and taking a rest for now.”

“Can I go to backstage later after the concert?” I should asked their manager instead of Junsu but I was so glad to see him that I forgot that the door is still opened.

“Ahhhhhh…………..” I heard screams from behind. And next time I knew, Junsu had pulled me inside.

“You can come to back stage but… Hyung, can she go to backstage after the concert?” He was asking the manager on behalf.

“Yes, of course you can. You can…” He started to brief me. I understood and excited the area through another exit. I was hoping nobody know I was the one who went through the other door. I went to find a quiet place to seat, but there was no quiet place. I settled on a chair. Everyone has started to queue and enter. It’s another hour before the concert.

**************************************************************

The concert was great. The stage was great. The lighting was great. Their conditions were great. The stage was hot. But the dance was not so great; No, his dance.

**************************************************************

[—-backstage—-]

I managed to sneak in and I was walking through the corridor when I saw the dancers’ room open and I decided to peep in. I saw those dancers and I gave that hatred look. I have no idea if they saw me or not and I couldn’t be bothered. I need to get to their room, before they do. I took a turn and walked along another long stretch of corridor. I heard voices within a room and I opened and peeped in. The door sign reads “Coordinator”. They went around giving their thanks. I found the room that reads “JYJ” at long last, gave a knock, no answer and stepped in. I settled myself on the long sofa and waited patiently.

[—- 10 minutues passed—-]

I heard footsteps and his voice. He was talking so loudly in excitment. I heard someone holding the door knob. I rested my ears against the door trying to listen who it was. He spoke again, “Ya.. Yuchun ahh.. seriously, it was so…” The door flew open and I greeted him with a smile.

My focus moved from his face to the other 2 faces behind him. They were giggling, especially Junsu because he knew I was here. But it seemed he told no one about it. JaeJoong was still shocked after 10 seconds. And YuChun broke the silence,

“Hyung, are you going to stay like this?”

“uhh? Oh… no.. I just.” And he shifted his focus to my face.

“You didn’t tell me…”

“She says it’s a surprise.” Junsu butted in as he pushed JaeJoong aside to get through.

“You knew about it yet you didn’t let me know.” JaeJoong exclaimed strongly.

“Oppa, it was meant to be a surprise. I asked Junsu oppa not to say. We met at the backstage door just now. He didn’t know about it until then.” I was trying to explain while holding on to him. “Aren’t you glad to see me?” I continued.

“I am but..” He was lost for words.

It was such a pleasant sight I can’t help but giggled at him. He face reflected of shockness and glad and slightly angry with Junsu. He walked into the room towards his belongings and I followed behind. The room is big for 3 person and they have all their belongings put on the dressing table. He searched through his bag as if looking for something. Feeling ignored, I walked towards the sofa and sat down.

I started talking about the concert and praising the other 2 members, giving glaces to JaeJoong which he caught looking through the mirror at me. He knew I wasn’t please about something and he showed the face of guilty. I can’t help but to tease him further. I was jealous at the same time too.

“I saw your solo…”

“Yes… my solo… yes…”

Yuchun and Junsu started to laugh slightly.

“The dance was… how should I say it? Amazing… you performed well. So… you liked your solo?”

“baby, it was just the cheorgraphy. We’re trying to express the lyrics of the song and protraying it through dance.”

“Protraying it through dance. Right… dance… all those touchy stuff… and… your eyes… the fans were crazy about your solo.”

“Yes, it’s.. eh…” He couldn’t find words to defend himself. He wouldn’t want me to see and he didn’t know I was there.

YuChun and Junsu was taking glances at us, looking at how I’m teasing JaeJoong. It wasn’t an awkward moment, not for us but perhaps JaeJoong. I didn’t know what he was guilty for. But it was fun teasing him sometimes. I just missed him badly.

I went to sit down at the sofa again. And they walked around packing and getting ready to leave.

***************************************************************

[—-on the car—-]

“Hyung, let’s head out for supper, shall we?” YuChun started as we all sat on the car and JaeJoong is boarding.

I was seated in right at the back earlier to avoid the fans. They purposedly left the back seat for the both of us. I remained quiet as I started at the drawn curtain. I can hear talking from outside the van. In less than a few seconds after he settled himself down, we’re off. He didn’t heard YuChun. From the moment he boarded, his focus was on me. He was trying to read my thoughts. I took glances at him secretly, through the sides of my eyes.

30 minutes of drive and we’re at the hotel. There were fans waiting for them at the hotel. They stepped out of the car. Before he left he said, “Come out only after we’re gone.” He was trying to protect me from the fans.

**************************************************************

[—-at my room—-]

“Ding dong”

It was him. I just know it.

I opened the door, turned and was about to walk away when he closed the door behind him and hugged me from behind.

“Thank you for being here. I really didn’t expect.” He whispered into my right ear.

I let out a sigh. There’s no way of winning with him. I was no longer angry or jealous about his solo. For as long as I don’t see a video of it.

“Where are the others?”

“They went for supper. Junsu is in his room.”

“And you’re…”

“I’m here… for you…”

“How sweet…” I sounded not in the least sweet at all.

“You’re still brooding over that matter? It’s just a dance. Plus, it was all along cheorographed this way.”

“Even in Asia? uh… that I didn’t seem to know.”

“It’s different in Asia…” He seat me down on the bed and tried explaining.

I escaped, grabbing along with me the TV remote control. I settled the pillow again my head and sat upright at the bed. He was standing right in front of the TV when I tried to switch it on.

“You’re blocking me.”

“Don’t me mad…” He get on the bed beside me and I heaved another sigh. He settled his head on my lao which I laid a pillow on, covered by the blanket.

I stared at him while the TV rants on about the latest pop song in the US.

I couldn’t help but laugh at him. He looked totally like a 3 year old child tugging into mommy’s arms.

He kissed me and whispered “Don’t be angry.” looking into my eyes.

—-THE END—-